Funny Stories: RWBY Edition
by SavageDandelion
Summary: These are several short stories and skits featuring team RWBY living together in a bustling British apartment building. Weiss once again argues with her teammates over correct pronunciation, Yang complains about Kool Aid, and more to come! Rated T for tee
1. Malk: RWBY Edition

Weiss walks into the kitchen towards the fridge in her quaint little British apartment that she shares with team RWBY. She passes by Yang and Jaune who is visiting, both sitting at the coffee table across from the fridge working on school work.

"Hey Yang did you get anything to drink?" she says while bending down to open the main fridge door.

"Yea, in the fridge."

"Oh, hey Weiss," Jaune speaks up, "grab me a glass of melk."

"We don't have any _melk_," Weiss corrects while looking up to Jaune from behind the fridge door, a little peeved at the request, "but I can get you some _milk_."

"That's...what he just said," replies a confused Yang.

"Yea, I just want some melk."

"No. You're saying it _wrong_, you're saying _melk_... like it's a disease." Weiss replies cooly, standing up and closing the fridge behind her, clearly not expecting much more intellect from her guest.

Yang chuckles. "How do _you_ say it?"

"I'm saying it the way everyone ought to say it -_milk_- m, i, l, k." Weiss spells it out, Jaune looking confused.

"Right, like two percent", Yang adds.

"Right, whole melk." Jaune continues.

"Nonononono. Say 'milkshake'." Weiss counters, looking at Jaune.

"Milkshake."

"Okay, now say _milk_."

"...melk."

Weiss drops her hands to her sides in frustration. She turns to Yang.

"Are you _hearing_ this!?"

"Yea," Yang replies unsure of what Weiss' problem is, "the man wants a glass of malk!"

"_MAULK!?_"

"Give him the malk, Weiss!" Yang yells but is interrupted-

"Yang, inside voices please." Blake is standing at the kitchen entrance, book in hand and disapproving glare directed to Yang.

"Sorry, Blake. It's my _Asian_ friends..."

Blake turns around and walks away, returning her attention to her book in one hand while munching on a tuna sandwich that she got somehow got from the kitchen in the other. Jaune is now frustrated.

"Weiss! Just pour me! A glass! Of melk!"

"Why are you yelling at _me!?_" Weiss replies, somehow keeping her temper.

"Just give him the friggin' malk!" demands Yang.

"You guys aren't even saying the same _thing_!"

"We're all saying MELK, Weiss!"

"No, YOU'RE saying _melk_!" Weiss turns to Yang, "YOU'RE saying-"

"MALK!"  
>"MELK!" Both Yang and Jaune yell at the same time, each throwing up their arms in frustration.<p>

"MAAAAAALK!"  
>"MEEEEEELK!"<p>

Weiss had had enough.

She reaches behind her and pulls out a handgun, pointing it to the two dunces. They both immediately quiet down, sitting back in their seats in surprise.

"SHUT UP! Just shut! _UP!_" Weiss then turns the gun on herself in desperation.

The two then immediately pull out two identical handguns from underneath the table, each pointing theirs at Weiss.

"You better put it down, Weiss!" Yang warns.

"D-Don't do it, Weiss!"

"You're gonna shoot me if I shoot _myself!?_" Weiss yells in disbelief, "That doesn't make any _SENSE!_"

Yang and Jaune both look at each other for a moment before looking back at Weiss, each now turning their guns on themselves. Yang and Jaune both start yelling.

"WEISS, PUT IT DOWN!"  
>"PUT THE GUN DOWN NOW!"<br>"Put YOUR guns away!" They're all yelling at the same time now.

"JUST PUT IT DOWN NOW" Yang yells again, tears running freely.

"I'm going to KILL myself over _**THIS!**_" Weiss shrieks.

"You're like a sister to me! Your team are all like sisters to meee!" Jaune pleads, bawling his eyes out.

"YAAAAAH!-"  
>"YAAAAAH!-"<br>"YAAAAAH!-"

* * *

><p>"And theeen, after that, they pull the trigger, all of them", a lone figure talking on the phone sits in a chair, finalizing his emphatic narration.<p>

Ren.

"No! We're _not _filming something like that." Monty Oum on the other line replies laughing, energetically working on something in his computer.

"Why not?"

"It's so..." Monty stops typing for a moment. "_Dark_. I dunno." He then puts the final keystrokes finishing an animation with Caboose about to detonate a box of cats while yelling, 'My name is Michael J. Caboose. And I. HATE. KITTENS.' He smiles at his hard work.

"Look Ren, I'm gonna have to call you back, I'm _really_ busy..."

The phone line disconnects.

END


	2. Hot Kool Aid: RWBY Edition

Ruby sped into the drab kitchen in her small apartment in London as she always did, except today with a coffee pot in one hand and a glass in the other, to find her sister Yang sitting at the small breakfast table in her pj's reading manga with her back to the red haired girl.

"Morning sis!"

With a small gasp of surprise, Yang looks up and turns to see her sister also in pj's and a ridiculously fluffy red robe at the corner of her eye before returning to her manga.

"Hello, sis."

"I made a pot of Kool Aid!"

At that, Yang looks up again and turns further to see her sister is indeed holding a pot of the red juice drink.

"You don't make a _pot_ of Kool Aid." she says, giving her back to her sister again.

"Well I-I did."

"Is it hot?"

"Maybe, maybe not." Ruby says with a silly grin.

"It's hot, isn't it."

"Yep!" She exclaims, accidentally spilling some on the floor from her excitement.

"_Hot_ Kool Aid?"

"Well, I could put some ice in it if you'd like..."

"Uh, no. I'm not thirsty." she says while taking a sip of the cup of coffee in front of her.

"Sissy!"

"I'm not gonna drink it!" She says, raising her voice.

"I made this for you..." Ruby pleads lifting the glass, even though Yang can't see it.

"No!"

"Drink it!"

"NO!"

"I want you to drink this!"

"I'm not drinking it!"

"Drink this right now or I'll pour it on the floor and blame it on you!"

"Oh, yeah. REAL mature."

A brief pause, Ruby starts to turn red...

"I MADE THIS FOR YOU!"

"Oh why don't you grow up."

"I DID, because I LOVE you!"

"Well I'm not gonna drink it."

"...I HATE YOU!"

"That's all I ever hear anymore," Yang complains, looking up at the ceiling, "'sissy try this!', 'sissy try that!' Remember that, what was it, cinnamon toast and uh...what was it..." she tries to remember while tapping the table impatiently...

"...Mayonaise."

"_Mayonaise_!"

"It was a good idea!"

"You didn't make a single _pound_!"

"I made a _pound_ of cinnamon toast with mayonaise..."

"And don't forget Rocky Road and Tabasco, right? Yea. What was it, three hospitalized? Yea, three men, hospitalized..." Yang recalls, shuddering at the memory.

"YOU. DRINK THIS. RIGHT! NOOOW!"

"Drink your own hot kool aid!"

"There's so much left of it, _what_ am I gonna do with all this hot kool aid!" Ruby says, lifting pot and glass in the air in frustration.

"Drink it!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"NOOO!"

Scrambling to the table, Ruby crashes into it as she crouches down beside her sister, looking to her eyes...

"Sissy..."

"_Yes_?"

"Please. Drink. My. Hot. Kool Aid." Ruby says in almost a desperate whisper, making her trademark adorable puppy face, and then pushing the glass to her older sister who is trying to hold back from smiling.

Another brief pause...

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Alright."

Yang picks up the cup, glares at her sister who is eagerly awaiting her sissy to try her new idea, and slowly takes a long sip of the hot kool aid, savoring it for a moment before gulping it down with difficulty.

Smacking her lips, Yang sighs and returns to her Manga, Ruby still crouched at her sister's side waiting for feedback.

"Yea, that's pretty good." Yang admits. Ruby looks confused. "Yea, I like that."

Ruby gets up and leaves in disbelief. She finally had a good idea!

END


	3. Waffles: RWBY Edition

**Cool intro:**

**Yang was usually an energetic person. Living with the rest of team RWBY in their thriving London apartment always kept her happy, and in return she never left her roommates with a dull moment. That is...unless she hadn't had her mandatory cup of coffee.**

**Which on this gray Saturday morning was precisely the case. Weiss and Blake had promised themselves that they would buy the grounds the night before, long before Yang realized that her heavenly brew had run out, but that was not to be. The duo would now have to suffer the consequences...**

* * *

><p>The blonde brawler now sits at their small coffee table in the kitchen wearing her pj's, a strap on her cami hanging off her shoulder and hair even more disheveled than usual, staring off to the wall with eyelids half open. In one of her hands she has a fork, in the other a spoon, and in front of her stands a towering full stack of waffles.<p>

Blake sits on the other end in a bath robe staring at the waffles unamused.

"That's a lot of waffles."

"You ate all the waffles?" A groggy Weiss walks in wearing her white night gown, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes as she holds an empty waffles box.

"Yeees, I did..." sleepy grogginess hangs heavy in Yang's voice.

"You could've asked us if we wanted any," Weiss complains sleepily as well, putting down the box while approaching the table to stand next to Blake.

"Nuh-UH," the blonde responds, exaggeratingly shaking her head, "if I give _you_ the waffels I won't git _any_!"

"Weiss, would _you_ like a waffle-" Blake begins.

"There IS no mo' waffels, I have dem all!"

"I _know_, it's an _example_."

"Why _yes_, Blake, I think I would like _two_ waffles." Weiss replies, following along.

"You can't-! y-you want _two_ of 'em!?"

"So if _Weiss_ gets two waffles," Blake begins by taking two waffles off the top of Yang's plate and placing them on a plate for Weiss, "and _I_ get two waffles," she places two more on her own plate, "that still leaves _eight_ waffles for _you_."

"I. Don't. Wan't eight waffels, I wan' _twelve_. I wan't _twelve_ of dem!" Yang replies to Blake's reasoning with sleepy annoyance. Blake is getting frustrated.

"If you can seriously eat _all_ those waffles then I will personally _drive_ you to the store to buy some more."

"I jus'- I just don't kno why _you_ guys get all da waffels."

"You _still_ have more waffles than Blake and me _combined_." The ice queen retorts.

"They're MINE. I got them from da _freezah_, and I put 'em on mah _plate_."

Blake and Weiss each facepalm.

"...you guyz are bein' _selfish_."

* * *

><p>The freeze-framed face of a sluggishly determined Yang sits on a monitor as an excited individual flicks on the lights.<p>

Ren.

"So there it is. It's _perfect_, this commercial is a _no-brainer_ for Rooster Teeth's first Simple Wok's Waffles commercial. Your viewers are gonna love it!"

He sits back as a pensative Monty Oum leans forward on the other side of the desk.

"Oh! No yea no, we _love_ the video! Uhh...it's just that your uhh..." he nods over to Yang with a worried smile, who is sitting next to Ren and still hasn't had her morning coffee in days, "your _friend_ there."

She looks over to Ren with a groggy grin as if he were the one speaking.

"What's her deal? Is she...is she _slow_?"

"_No_-" Yang begins to respond before Ren.

"Uhh, she ate a jellyfi-"

"No, no, _no_! I-"

"She ate a jellyfish..."

"I ate a _jelly_ fish."

The director looks at each of the two characters in front of him as he hears the lame excuse.

"We _may_ wanna recast her, it's just a thought, we may wanna talk about it later-" he advises Ren.

Yang quips an interruption, "But _'dis_ commercial's gonna make me _famous_!"

Ren smiles nervously at the director...

END

* * *

><p><strong>AN: If you guys have ever seen any funny skits/videos that you think would be even BETTER re-enacted by RWBY characters, feel free to let me know! :D**


End file.
